So, yeah. I came back from soccer today in a happy mood. Josh was oddly optimistic and cheerful. He was actually complimenting people today, me as one of them, which I think is a great breakthrough in his social skills and his maturity. I might actually be proud of him.

So, I never get to see my parents anymore. Among school, homework, their work and them leaving every weekend, I hardly get to talk to them. I'm purely relying on my sister and my best friend, Amy. I ask them about stuff now and get pretty good advice, too. Ever since my parents started leaving, my sister and I seem to get along a lot better.

So, I hate being home alone at night. My sister came home really late last night, if it was even night. I know some people would take advantage of a quiet house, but I just get scared and paranoid. I automatically turn on all the lights and the television or crank the radio. I like to go into the smallest room in the house so I can feel like I'm not alone, there's just not enough room.

So, there's not much else to say. I've been so busy and, yeah...

Summer is ending quickly...School starts in just three more days! Where did the time go? Ugh, I have a lot left to do for school. I'm not ready for it, yet I'm already thinking about Halloween. Am I insane? I hope not.

Well school means work, and work means even less doodles. *sigh*

My parents have been out of town every weekend since grandpa became ill. I miss them. I bonded with my dad yesterday. We went to the state fair and ate until we couldn't feel our stomachs any more. It was pretty fun. We discussed my future career as a possible doctor. I think it would be a good way to give back to the community.

Grandpa died Friday the 25th after 84 happy years. He grew up on a farm, and raised his family on a farm. He served in World War 2. He had twelve kids and lost one of them to cancer. He had nearly 60 years of happy marriage. He lost his wife to health complications, and his brother to a drunk driver. I will miss him dearly.

I'm thirteen, and am glad that I was mature enough to get to know him. I hope to live a long, complete life like his.

Grandpa is doing much worse. He can't hear, talk, communicate very well. You are doomed to repeat what you say with little response. He thinks he is going to die on July 23. I hope he lasts longer, but I hope the funeral isn't the first or second week of school. The chances of that, although, is very high. He doesn't have much time.

My family has been very stressed lately. Kim is always thinking about her job and college stuff (It's the last year for volunteer hours). Mom is stressed because of grandpa. She spends most of the time at the nursing home (3 hours away) or on business trips. I haven't seen her much this month, and when I do, we don't talk...at all. Dad doesn't give a shit about me (Never has, really). He's revolved around his work and bank account. It's a terrible environment to live in. I tend to get out of the house more often.

With everyone revolved around their own little lives, I'm all alone. I'm more sad than ever before, and no one seems to care. I cried, no one even glanced at me. I left the house for an hour, no one seemed to notice. I slept on the floor because not even the soft bed ,with all it's pillows, comforted me. I feel very useless and lonely, but no one seems to give a damn. No one is there.

I know things could always get worse, and I know there are people with such worse things going on. I'm just drowned in my own emotions at the moment, and it sickens me. It makes me feel needy.

I really just wish everything with grandpa would stop.

Grandpa is doing better. He was moved to a home in Monnitova or something...Although, he is still down to weaks (If I'm lucky, even a month or two)

I'm back to my drawing self, so be prepared for more uploads...(Yay?)

That's it for now...